Introvert’s Guide To Surviving Christmas Parties

party

Wine. Lots of it.

Hehehehehe…. just kidding! It helps though.

Anyway, Christmas. Definitely not my favourite time of year. There are so many stresses and social occasions involved that it just gets to be too much. However, fear not, o introverts, I have some advice that might help. Might help, mind you.

  1. Definitely leave any gift shopping until the last minute. DO NOT for any reason make a list of presents and stick to it and any budget you may have.
  2. Accept invitations to multiple parties night after night so that you get sufficiently socialized during this time of year. You wouldn’t want to miss out on any dismal and eye-stabbingly boring exciting office parties, would you?
  3. Agree to bring food to every single one of these parties so that you are up until 2 AM the night each one before making 2000 teeny sausages on sticks.
  4. Leave absolutely NO time to yourself for recharging in between any  holiday events and shopping trips.
  5. DO NOT for any reason bring a book, knitting or other handiwork to a party so that you have something to talk about, keep yourself occupied with or hide behind if need be. People hate this at parties and will pointedly NOT start conversations about what you have with you if you persist in doing this.
  6. Do go to lots of parties where you know no one and cannot bring a friend. This is a great way to relax and meet new people.
  7. Always refuse to play board games at parties. You will only end up regretting joining in a group activity such as this and actually interacting with people during a shared experience.
  8. Drink a lot so that you will be socially lubricated enough to talk to everyone at the party. Better yet, drink enough to have a go on the karaoke machine while everyone and their uptight granny watches.
  9. Hang around the food table, not to help (no one likes a person who offers to assist the host – it comes across too goody-goody), but to catch people off-guard as they awkwardly attempt to refill their plate and balance a drink all at the same time.
  10. Always show up to a party stressed, hungry and exhausted after a long day. You’ll be able to relax while you are there and then feel great when you go home.

Anyone else got any good advice for surviving Christmas parties?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s