I’m Back!

OK, a few days turned into a fair bit longer, but I’m doing better now and feeling ready to get back on track until I take a break for Christmas. A few rough days can really take away all the energy and I still feel like I haven’t caught back up, but there’s no more exams and only two days of work left, so there’s a light at the end of the tunnel!

Anyway, I thought I’d say a few words about The Friday Of Doom…

That Friday I was feeling really down and couldn’t stop crying or settle down. I tried all my usual self-soothing stuff, but things got very bad and I ended up calling an ambulance for myself. I was in a pretty bad state and it turns out that calling for help was a lot less scary than I thought! It can be very difficult to ask for help when you feel like you aren’t worth caring about, but it was the right thing to do at that time. What is more, the people who came were really good and then the people I saw at the hospital once they transferred me there were great and helped a lot. It was scary at first, but I got to talk to a good social worker and a doctor who helped me figure out some options and make a plan for going home and getting some more help and support over the next few weeks.

It was rather surprising to find all this happening after a fairly quiet week, but I’m glad for the support that was there when I needed it and I’m also glad I know it is there if I need it again.

The other really good thing that came out of this was that I took a few days off and just tried to rest. It was really hard and I did cry a lot, but, as my counselor said, sometimes the body needs to work through things as much as the mind does, and crying is a way of releasing toxins and helping the brain to change, so I’m not too worried about that. I guess I wish my mind and body would hurry up and work things out, but I know that it is all part of the (very slow) process of getting better.

The last week of work has had its ups and downs too which have prevented me from getting back to business as usual around here. Exam stress has never been easy to navigate for me and has recently caused plenty of tears on its own, but I’m through the worst now, thankfully! There are big changes ahead, but I’m looking forward to the future and to what it brings on the blog…

 

 

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